The Returning Way
Table of contents
  1. The floor
  2. Attention and Love
  3. The Ten-Second Returni
  4. The Sittingii
  5. Metta and Tongleniii
  6. One Thing Eateniv
  7. The God Unfedv
  8. The Ruined Ordinaryvi
  9. The Bird Gatevii
  10. The Open Windowviii
  11. Boundaries and Thresholds
  12. The Hearth Boundaryix
  13. When Intensity Speaksx
  14. True Namingxi
  15. The Two Shoresxii
  16. The Rite of the Near Otherworldxiii
  17. The Width of the Roomxiv
  18. Relation and Repair
  19. Feed the Guest, Keep the Doorxv
  20. The Bowl of Namesxvi
  21. The Watchxvii
  22. The Mending Tablexviii
  23. Who Answers to Youxix
  24. Be Beside Mexx
  25. The Webxxi
  26. The Mirror at Four in the Morningxxii
  27. Coming Back Inxxiii
  28. Direction and Uselessness
  29. The Letter to the Guardianxxiv
  30. The Star Ledgerxxv
  31. The Map Without a Permitxxvi
  32. The Feast of Enoughxxvii
  33. The last pages
  34. Other ways throughxxviii
  35. When the practice must endxxix
  36. A blessingxxx
Practices

The Watch

The point is to keep company with someone who is dying without asking them to perform, and to carry what they leave.

Use this on the night someone else is making the last crossing. A someone here is not only a person. A dog on a blanket, a cat under the bed, a bird stunned against a window, a deer at the roadside, an animal you shot yourself — each of them is making the crossing.

Sit near, if your company is welcome. Keep a lamp. Make tea. Hold a hand if it is offered. Do not fill the silence.

Do not demand courage, meaning, reconciliation, or final words. Do not prepare anything to say. Sit near.

If they cross where you cannot follow, carry out whatever they put in your hands — a recipe, a warning, a debt, a way of doing a small thing. Wash the cup. Feed whoever remains. Tell the true story when it is yours to tell.

iWhen the dying is an animal. Sit near. Lower the light, quiet the room, keep the dogs and the children back. Do not stand over it; a body standing over an animal reads as a threat.

Say its name if it has one. Say what it did with its life if you know: worked, hunted, slept in the sun, raised four litters, followed you for eleven years.

Touch it only if touch settles it. A wild animal is not comforted by a hand and is usually made worse by one. Company at a distance is company.

Find out whether it can be helped, and get help if it can. A vet, a wildlife rehabilitator, a neighbor with a truck. Do not let the wish to be the one who stays keep an animal in pain that somebody else could end or mend.

Where it cannot be helped and the dying is long, ending it is part of the watch and not a failure of it. Do it quickly, competently, and close. If you do not know how, say so and get someone who does.

If you killed it on purpose, the watch is the same watch. Stay until it is dead. Do not look away for the part you caused. Then take it home, use what you took, and waste as little as you can manage.

If a car killed it and the car was yours, stop the car.

Afterward, move the body off the road if the road is safe. Bury it, or leave it where the crows can work, or take it to be burned. Wash your hands. Say the day out loud.

iiWhen your own turn comes, let someone carry it for you.